STRENGTH OF A WOMAN:
A man came back early from work and caught his wife with another man in bed WIFE: Why are you home so early?
MAN: Who is he!
WIFE: Oh please! Don't even try to change the topic!
HOTEL TRUCE: An old married couple were traveling by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room at a hotel. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out of the hotel four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use. “But we didn’t use them,” the husband said. “Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager. The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says. “But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said. “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!” The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager. “Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
GENTLEMAN: A lady came to see her doctor and the following conversation ensued: LADY: Doctor please call in my husband. DOCTOR: Trust me, I am a gentleman. LADY: No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman.
POLICE NO DEY LOOK: was driving down the street when a police man stop my car and immediately opened the door enter and jammed it. As usual he wanted to collect "roja"money from me...Then sudenly he saw the big grown dog at the back of the seat with tongue stuck out angrily staring fiercely at him. POLICE: [shakin] Ah! You carry dog? ME: [I bone my face] Yes! POLICE: [feeling uncomfortable] Na where una come dey come from? ME: From hospital! POLICE: [feeling uneasy] Ehen! You sick? ME: No, na the dog o. POLICE: [Looks back] Why the dog come dey shake im head like dat? ME: Oh! Like that? If the dog wan bite person na so e dey shake head o. POLICE: and the dog know you o? ME: Yes na, no be me get am? POLICE: [sweating] This your door how you dey open am? ME: Open it na, abi u no know as you take enter. POLICE: Abeg! Na since I notice the dog I don dey try open am.
FAITHFUL HUSBAND: Wife hit her husband with frying pan. HUSBAND: What was that for? WIFE: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it. HUSBAND: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse. WIFE: Sorry...! [Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again] HUSBAND: What now? WIFE: Your horse is on the Phone.
HOTEL TRUCE: An old married couple were traveling by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room at a hotel. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out of the hotel four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use. “But we didn’t use them,” the husband said. “Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager. The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says. “But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said. “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!” The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager. “Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
GENTLEMAN: A lady came to see her doctor and the following conversation ensued: LADY: Doctor please call in my husband. DOCTOR: Trust me, I am a gentleman. LADY: No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman.
POLICE NO DEY LOOK: was driving down the street when a police man stop my car and immediately opened the door enter and jammed it. As usual he wanted to collect "roja"money from me...Then sudenly he saw the big grown dog at the back of the seat with tongue stuck out angrily staring fiercely at him. POLICE: [shakin] Ah! You carry dog? ME: [I bone my face] Yes! POLICE: [feeling uncomfortable] Na where una come dey come from? ME: From hospital! POLICE: [feeling uneasy] Ehen! You sick? ME: No, na the dog o. POLICE: [Looks back] Why the dog come dey shake im head like dat? ME: Oh! Like that? If the dog wan bite person na so e dey shake head o. POLICE: and the dog know you o? ME: Yes na, no be me get am? POLICE: [sweating] This your door how you dey open am? ME: Open it na, abi u no know as you take enter. POLICE: Abeg! Na since I notice the dog I don dey try open am.
FAITHFUL HUSBAND: Wife hit her husband with frying pan. HUSBAND: What was that for? WIFE: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it. HUSBAND: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse. WIFE: Sorry...! [Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again] HUSBAND: What now? WIFE: Your horse is on the Phone.
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